Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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