so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize