So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He's on the porch naked. Help.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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