Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
