i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
