I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
