i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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