You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
