so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
