fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize