just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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