Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it glows. i had to have it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
