im six kinds of drunk right now
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
