What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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