They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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