Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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