Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
