Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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