I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
