come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
