Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Randomize
