guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
