So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
