My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
