Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
