respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
