im about as happy as oj after his trial
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Randomize
