my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
