I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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