I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize