Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
