Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
