Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
