I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
my sisters under your porch take her home
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Randomize
