are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
