I am in a vortex of obligation.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
