that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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