Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
