Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
