If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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