Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
