i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
