i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
