dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
