OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize