I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Success! We fucked roommates!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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