What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
