What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
