My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
