He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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