Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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