Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
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