Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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