ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
