i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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