found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i dont even know how to be here
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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