Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
