quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You dont lie about slip and slides
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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