why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
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