oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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