Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
