I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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