"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
