Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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