put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize