on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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