Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
