Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
