we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
