One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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