i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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