you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
